Shavquafneg is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, conceited ferret.

Shavquafneg created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavquafneg, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Shavquafneg, she will turn you into a mouse.

Shavquafneg's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Shavquafneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Shavquafneg.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always stare at clouds.