Kiklunciss is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, astonishing grasshopper.

Kiklunciss created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Kiklunciss, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kiklunciss, it will turn you into a snail.

Kiklunciss' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Kiklunciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt foxes.

2. Never jump in the presence of mites.

3. Never feed nuts to great tits while wearing green scarves.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Fast once a month.