Farnkamzan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable salamander.

Farnkamzan created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnkamzan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Farnkamzan, it will curse you with boils.

Farnkamzan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Farnkamzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Always look after injured swans.

4. Farnkamzan loves sharks, so they must be respected.

5. Worship no other gods but Farnkamzan.