Kipsugtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, kind meerkat.

Kipsugtaf created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipsugtaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kipsugtaf, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Kipsugtaf's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Kipsugtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Never talk about foxes.

5. Run away from magenta grasshopers, for they are unholy.