Quagrak is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent owl.

Quagrak created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagrak, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quagrak, it will be very unhappy.

Quagrak's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Quagrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Pray towards the north.