Lanrapnadbat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, almighty cobra.

Lanrapnadbat created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Lanrapnadbat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lanrapnadbat, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Lanrapnadbat's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Lanrapnadbat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not drink alcohol.