Hotmutjab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy crocodile.

Hotmutjab created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotmutjab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Hotmutjab, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hotmutjab's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Hotmutjab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hotmutjab.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.