Fedsaftin is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, all-knowing tortoise.

Fedsaftin created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedsaftin, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fedsaftin, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fedsaftin's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fedsaftin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Worship no other gods but Fedsaftin.

3. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Fedsaftin on top of important buildings.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.