Femquimkop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective hare.

Femquimkop created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femquimkop, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Femquimkop, she will boil you in a big pot.

Femquimkop's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Femquimkop's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Worship no other gods but Femquimkop.