Ortgep is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, fast bat.

Ortgep created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ortgep, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ortgep, it will turn you into a hamster.

Ortgep's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Ortgep's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think ill of sick ducks.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Always help sick squirrels.