Bappodlit is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, temperamental meerkat.

Bappodlit created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bappodlit, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bappodlit, he will torture you forever.

Bappodlit's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bappodlit's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown snakes, for they are unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bappodlit.

5. Never look in ponds.