Tikwittap is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthoughtful jackal.

Tikwittap created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikwittap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tikwittap, she will turn you into a goat.

Tikwittap's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tikwittap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Pray towards the north.