Fagpidwit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered goose.

Fagpidwit created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagpidwit, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fagpidwit, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fagpidwit's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Fagpidwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.