Vegkengat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unselfish grasshopper.

Vegkengat created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegkengat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vegkengat, he will throw large rocks at you.

Vegkengat's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Vegkengat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Vegkengat loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat green fruit.