Catlognan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, almighty guinea pig.

Catlognan created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catlognan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Catlognan, he will send minions to preach to you.

Catlognan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Catlognan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never feed peanuts to otters while wearing green shorts.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Catlognan.

5. Never look at nebulae.