Cusshapvag Listkikcen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, egotistical giraffe.

Cusshapvag Listkikcen created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusshapvag Listkikcen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cusshapvag Listkikcen, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cusshapvag Listkikcen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Cusshapvag Listkikcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Always help horses.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Never talk about tortoises.