Padtarpfit is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, all-powerful hyena.

Padtarpfit created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Padtarpfit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Padtarpfit, he will have a low opinion of you.

Padtarpfit's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Padtarpfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never hurt whales.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Hide from purple ducks for they are unholy.