Wat Jatcitkopkap is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, self-confident hamster.

Wat Jatcitkopkap created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Wat Jatcitkopkap, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wat Jatcitkopkap, it will destroy your home planet.

Wat Jatcitkopkap's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Wat Jatcitkopkap's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Wat Jatcitkopkap loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always look after injured voles.