Larpgumzan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, impressive snake.

Larpgumzan created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Larpgumzan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larpgumzan, he will destroy your favourite star.

Larpgumzan's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Larpgumzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never eat peanuts.