Jarnmapfas is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic goose.

Jarnmapfas created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnmapfas, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jarnmapfas, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jarnmapfas' most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Jarnmapfas' Holy Commandments

1. Jarnmapfas must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never mention hamsters.