Tigboggen is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, ruthless dove.

Tigboggen created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigboggen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tigboggen, he will come to you in dreams.

Tigboggen's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tigboggen's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tigboggen.

2. Do not speak about gooseberries.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Erect seven lead sculptures of Tigboggen on top of important buildings.