Miltabbin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, temperamental octopus.

Miltabbin created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Miltabbin, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Miltabbin, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Miltabbin's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Miltabbin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. You must love Miltabbin.

5. Never think about asteroids.