Janomtcin is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring pigeon.

Janomtcin created the universe two years ago.

If you believe in Janomtcin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Janomtcin, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Janomtcin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Janomtcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into mauve rooms.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Hide if eight whales approach from the east.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Never play with disobedient children.