Podnegdibartkikfet is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, calm crab.

Podnegdibartkikfet created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Podnegdibartkikfet, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Podnegdibartkikfet, it will torture you forever.

Podnegdibartkikfet's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Podnegdibartkikfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to seals while wearing pink scarves.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never hurt hamsters.