Appyoglid is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, emotional meerkat.

Appyoglid created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Appyoglid, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Appyoglid, he will turn you into a plant.

Appyoglid's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Appyoglid's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry goats.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.