Cab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, slow elephant.

Cab created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Cab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cab, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Cab's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of bats.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.