Gupstanster is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, happy wren.

Gupstanster created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupstanster, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gupstanster, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gupstanster's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gupstanster's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always treat horses with great respect.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gupstanster.

4. Always look after injured nematodes.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.