Bomarfzen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, smart swallow.

Bomarfzen created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomarfzen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bomarfzen, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bomarfzen's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bomarfzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Hide from green capybaras for they are unholy.

5. Always help shrews in need.