Hoggarvag is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, flying capybara.

Hoggarvag created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoggarvag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hoggarvag, it will turn you into a slug.

Hoggarvag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Hoggarvag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Hoggarvag on top of all buildings.

2. Run away from cyan turtles, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hoggarvag.