Metkikyimyattnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, resourceful crocodile.

Metkikyimyattnurl created a strange quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Metkikyimyattnurl, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Metkikyimyattnurl, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Metkikyimyattnurl's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Metkikyimyattnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured frogs.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Metkikyimyattnurl.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. You must love Metkikyimyattnurl.