Muttannib is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, benevolent yak.

Muttannib created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Muttannib, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Muttannib, she will turn you into a hamster.

Muttannib's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Muttannib's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Muttannib.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.