Titontzakged is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, passionate hummingbird.

Titontzakged created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Titontzakged, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Titontzakged, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Titontzakged's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Titontzakged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not kill rats.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never write about gravity.