Sitparkquart is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unthinking fairy.

Sitparkquart created gold nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitparkquart, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sitparkquart, it will curse you with boils.

Sitparkquart's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Sitparkquart's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

5. Never look in ponds.