Witvonkyart is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, charitable human.

Witvonkyart created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witvonkyart, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Witvonkyart, he will turn you into a snail.

Witvonkyart's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Witvonkyart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always look after injured porpoises.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Witvonkyart.

5. Never look at asteroids.