Nartkopnutt Flaptonquat is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving hare.

Nartkopnutt Flaptonquat created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartkopnutt Flaptonquat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nartkopnutt Flaptonquat, she will curse you with boils.

Nartkopnutt Flaptonquat's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Nartkopnutt Flaptonquat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry horses.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Erect four titanium sculptures of Nartkopnutt Flaptonquat on top of important buildings.