Garartgig Cudlagdud is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, uncaring narwhal.

Garartgig Cudlagdud created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garartgig Cudlagdud, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Garartgig Cudlagdud, it will send minions to preach to you.

Garartgig Cudlagdud's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Garartgig Cudlagdud's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six silver sculptures of Garartgig Cudlagdud on top of important buildings.

2. Always help sick ducks.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never play with disobedient children.