Kiptenvag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, cheerful weasel.

Kiptenvag created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Kiptenvag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kiptenvag, he will manifest in front of you.

Kiptenvag's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Kiptenvag's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Never talk about gravity.