Ratpophin is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omnipotent otter.

Ratpophin created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratpophin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ratpophin, he will turn you into a hamster.

Ratpophin's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Ratpophin's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of squirrels.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not kill goats.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about cell theory.