Cemcidvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful walrus.

Cemcidvonk created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemcidvonk, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cemcidvonk, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cemcidvonk's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Cemcidvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. You must pray to Cemcidvonk nine times a day.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cemcidvonk.