Cabtunzig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, astonishing bear.

Cabtunzig created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabtunzig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cabtunzig, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Cabtunzig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Cabtunzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never skip in the presence of foxes.

4. Never bounce near nematodes.

5. Never sit in holy places.