Cenlistlun is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, merciless dugong.

Cenlistlun created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenlistlun, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cenlistlun, it will turn you into a hamster.

Cenlistlun's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cenlistlun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about grapes.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.