Somcitlim is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, clever goose.

Somcitlim created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Somcitlim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Somcitlim, he will ignore you.

Somcitlim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Somcitlim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never skip in the presence of sheep.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Somcitlim.