Fosscamgad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-knowing troll.

Fosscamgad created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Fosscamgad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fosscamgad, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fosscamgad's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fosscamgad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never feed cherries to grasshopers while wearing pink tights.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never sing near ducks.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fosscamgad.