Tinmutbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, uncaring otter.

Tinmutbonk created the planet Mars twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tinmutbonk, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tinmutbonk, it will destroy your favourite star.

Tinmutbonk's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tinmutbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tinmutbonk.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Tinmutbonk must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not cook food in pots.