Gudstipbenab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, fussy newt.

Gudstipbenab created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudstipbenab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gudstipbenab, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gudstipbenab's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gudstipbenab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Run away if nine doves approach from the west.