Nutpinfag is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, clever porpoise.

Nutpinfag created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutpinfag, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nutpinfag, she will turn you into a frog.

Nutpinfag's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Nutpinfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

5. Retreat if six seals approach from the south.