Gubhaphig Davfenlap is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, cheerful mink.

Gubhaphig Davfenlap created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubhaphig Davfenlap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gubhaphig Davfenlap, she will not invite you to parties.

Gubhaphig Davfenlap's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gubhaphig Davfenlap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. You must pray to Gubhaphig Davfenlap four times a day.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.