Jattailbif is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, weak ferret.

Jattailbif created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jattailbif, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jattailbif, it will be very sad.

Jattailbif's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Jattailbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Never eat gooseberries.