Cinomttaf is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, blissful tapir.

Cinomttaf created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinomttaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cinomttaf, it will torture you forever.

Cinomttaf's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cinomttaf's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Cinomttaf must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never mention ants.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Cinomttaf on top of important buildings.