Gesssomtartapcepstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful coyote.

Gesssomtartapcepstrag created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesssomtartapcepstrag, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gesssomtartapcepstrag, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gesssomtartapcepstrag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Gesssomtartapcepstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gesssomtartapcepstrag.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Always help gulls.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Fast once a month.